Lived Experience Forum

[Lee82]

I'm just a little worried about you my love

@Former-Member 

Are you ok? 

[Former-Member]

It's just a rough day here Mel, I am ok kinda. How about you? ❤️Nikki @Lee82 

@Former-Member , replying to last nights post, it's true that Kimberly and I haven't been active much lately along with Bear. Izzy does this thing we call 'checks out' not sure how it works it just does. Basically when she is at her limits she checks out and one of us Normally just me, bear or Kimberly checks in. Last night I was filled with rage so it was Kimberly, this morning however it's me. Izzy is in the background fully aware of what is happening but right now life is just to tough for her after yesterday's therapy. She will be back, time frame in an unknown. How are you today Sherry?

Good morning Princess Pea, thanks for the good morning. Sorry I don't do the cute vibrant posts Izzy does, I know you love them. @greenpea 

@outlander , please be gentle with yourself and your thoughts. Take some time once pop leaves for some gentle self care. 

@NatureLover , I am not sure if there was a question in your post last night or not. Hope you are well. 

@Maggie , @Eve7 , @mudsum  @Faith-and-Hope  @Ant7 ,  @MDT , @Purplerain  @Appleblossom @Eden1919 @The-red-centaur wishing you all a good morning and hope your day is ok. 💜 Nikki (alter)

[MDT]

hey @Former-Member

Always good to see you about on the forums 🙂

[Lee82]

Hey Nikki, it's been a while since we spoke hun. I am so sorry to hear that Izzy is having a tough time right now. It seemed like although things started off rough yesterday that the therapy ended well. I have missed you babe but also not so happy that Izzy is not doing well. I'm guessing you are around because Izzy has done something that needs you to  protect her from. 
when you say your kinda ok? What do you mean? Of course no need to answer if you don't want to. I am always hear to listen to you @Former-Member 

[Purplerain]

Hi @Former-Member,

Thanks for the tag. Hope you're going ok? Xx

[Former-Member]

Not really Mel, she just "checked out" last night because she couldn't handle a dam thing. I have had the words her psychologist said to her last time stuck in my head. She wanted to know where I was when the client assaulted Izzy, why didn't I come forward and protect the body as my role is designed to do that. I am then questioning where was I when the kids father paid her a visit. I am not able to stop the 16 yr old from SH, well I can't stop Izzy either for that matter. I feel like I have failed in my duty to keep the body safe. Just a sh*ttie day really. Nothing to worry about my friend. @Lee82 

[greenpea]

@Former-Member  hope Nikki and Izzy are okay. Sending love. peaxx

[Lee82]

That is a lot to be dealing with Nikki. I'm so sorry that all of this is going on for you right now. You cannot beat yourself up for what happened. It is totally not your fault. I can imagine it is not as easy as just popping out at the right exact moment things are bad. I'm not 100%sure how it all works but I'm sure if you could have you would have done whatever you could to protect her but even if you did come out whose to say you could have done anything or whose to say things wouldn't have ended up worse. 
I know what I am saying probably isn't helping at all babe just please take 1 thing from all of this and that is IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! I wish I could give you a hug my beautiful friend right now. 💗

I am here for you babe always. Never forget that. Love you unconditionally 

@Former-Member 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi Nikki 👋 ..... thanks for the tag. I am listening a long here.  I feel for what you're all going through, and just wanted to add my encouragement .... in your role you can only do what you can do, and while you can control the body while you are checked in, you can't control all the alters and their different responses to situation ..... so yeah, I guess you are acknowledging that, and it sucks.  Hearing you.

[Lee82]

@Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @greenpea @Purplerain @Pollyotter @NatureLover @Former-Member @Shaz51