Really just unloading.
Well both those appointments were hard.
Saw psych (telehealth) and told her some about what is happening. She expressed concern and tried to put some things in place. Felt like I failed her. All these things she suggested and I haven't done. I did say at one point that if I'm in the too hard basket that I would understand. She is on leave now till mid Feb. Am seeing (just through telehealth) another psych that my psych has set up so I'm not alone all that time. I should be grateful. It's better than nothing.
Then had pdoc (phone) this afternoon. Told him about triggers being everywhere this time of year and what that leads too. Spoke about my nightmares and flashbacks. Told him about my SH and SI. He did ask the safe question. Could only say sometimes. He did mention the dreaded H. Would rather not. Told me to use my SP and reach out if needed. He squeezed me in for an appt. in a few weeks time.
So mentally and physically exhausted now. My brain can't take much more. Just keep thinking about the same thing over and over again. Like a broken record.
Just made myself a cuppa and having some choc biscuits. At least my tastebuds are happy! Hopefully I can veg out on the couch for the remainder of the day.
