I can’t cope

[rav3n]

oh no!! i'm so sorry to hear she'll be away for a while @Captain24 when does she head off on her leave?

how do you feel about having a 'cover' psych for the 8 weeks? are there any things in specific that you're worried about (and maybe we can chat through it to see if there's something that can be done)?

[Captain24]

She goes on leave the 9th of September and doesn’t come back until 4th of November. @rav3n 

I get she needs a break. Her thesis is due in 3 weeks and she has been working hard on it. So she needs some down time. @rav3n 

Im not sure I’m comfortable with someone else. She is going to give me some names hopefully they are from the hospital I go to so they would at least know who I am. But I’m not sure about it. 8 weeks is a long time without anyone. I’ve been comfortable with her from the start because she was a facilitator on the course I did last year and started seeing her at the end of it. She said she would do a full handover though. 

I’ve just booked an appointment with my Pdoc and it’s before she goes on leave so hopefully I have a full diagnosis from them before she goes on leave. 

[Captain24]

So shaken about my psych going away that I just went to the chemist in my house clothes and my hair not done. Now I’m home I’m really embarrassed 

[rav3n]

ahh yep, so you've got a bit of time to plan things out, which is good @Captain24 

yeah it's tough when we need our supports but we also want them to look after themselves. and i can see that she cares about you heaps too, having a solid handover and also giving you some options around psych sounds like a good start, fingers crossed there's someone you feel familiar/comfy with!! 

booking in that pdoc appt also sounds like a good plan, you're already working hard on getting on top of it! 

just saw your post about the chemist in home clothes - i know the feeling 😅 if it makes you feel better, i've seen people enter stores with no shoes, dirt on their face, in onesies, anime costumes, ripped/run down trackies, with a shower cap on, etc. - and all times, no one blinked an eye at them! seeing them actually helped me feel more comfy, now i go to all my local stores in my home clothes and messy hairdos. 

[Captain24]

When I see her in 2 weeks face to face she is going to discuss it then @rav3n. She does care. I hit the jackpot when I got her as my psych. 

Hopefully with the Pdoc we can continue the adhd assessment. I think the meds that I’m nearly off has been masking a lot. Or the reduction in meds has messed with my brain neurons. But I’m really struggling with head noise, focus, concentration and memory issues. Part of me is wondering whether I’m developing dementia. 

I havent brushed my hair at all in 3 days and haven’t washed it for nearly 2 weeks. Oh and no bra! The pharmacist did give me a look. But a look of concern and asked how I was going. I very rarely leave the house unless my hair is done and I have a clean tracksuit on. I don’t get proper dressed unless I’m going somewhere. 

I’ve done my list for today so I’m feeling achieved but not overly proud of myself. Feeling pretty flat. But again that could be withdrawals. The meltdowns I’ve been having could also be withdrawals just manifesting in different ways. Or the meds have been masking them previously. I have been on a high dose for 12 months. 

How are you? 

[Captain24]

Are you around @tyme?

[Captain24]

I’m not really ok. 

[AuntGlow]

Here with you @Captain24, what can I do to support you right now? 💛

[Captain24]

I don’t know @AuntGlow.

I feel really low. I’m just crying and I don’t cry. 

I did everything I had to today and I’m not feeling better for it. Including cleaning out some drawers. 

I’ve tried to do some Lego but it didn’t help. I tried to do some paint by numbers and I hate it. I went and laid in bed. It didn’t help. 

My psych is going on 8 weeks leave. But she is trying to find someone to cover. 

Im feeling really really low right now. 

It’s ok I know you are busy and probably can’t get back to me

[tyme]

HI @Captain24 .

YOU were in my brain all day today. IN my head, I was saying, "I have to get this done. I have to get this done. I need to tell Cap"

So thanks for being my accountablity bud. I got one sticky note complete. I've got another 3, but I feel accomplished at least.

I'm hearing that today, for you, is... hard?