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Re: Good Morning!

Been raining here all day

Was good to work haha

Just sawa bir of footy but flicked it off as it was too one sided

In bed now

Will read a bit and early off to markets

Nite

Re: Good Morning!

Hi guys,

 

slept a bit better last night although it was broken sleep. Feeling a bit more like myself today although a bit flat. The psychiatric team is working closely with me and I am seeing my case manager on Monday. 
Thanks for the well wishes x

@MDT @SmilingGecko @Former-Member @TAB @Doldip15 @Shaz51 @tonys @Meowmy 

Re: Good Morning!

Big hugs @Oaktree 

G

Re: Good Morning!

hope it goes okay @Oaktree 

Re: Good Morning!

Take care @Oaktree and all the best with it

Re: Good Morning!

Sending you lots of hugs ❤️ @Oaktree 

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Good Morning!

Hey there @Oaktree 🙂🌺

glad to hear you have a team supporting you, and there’s progress happening for you. 
take good care, and I hope you can feel better and better as each day goes by 🤗💜

thinking of you 🌺💜

Re: Good Morning!

Reading everyone’s posts makes me very aware that everyone has so many issues every day and not always good places to retreat in their mind either! I often try to finish the day with something creative to make me feel positive and productive and wonder why when all I want to do these days is sit and cry! Haven’t been posting because I don’t know what to say when my body is no longer letting me walk straight, be my own self independently, stay off the ground and live without pain! Hard to be positive in frustration and distress! Where’s the old me? The one who can walk the dog, look the world in the eye and pretend a confidence I’ve never felt! I can’t even lift my head without extraordinarily effort! I’m afraid of people being in charge of my well being! Of being sedated! Of being told I’m not to be treated any longer! I don’t want to go near hospitals and be admitted and have my right to self determination removed! I’m slowly creeping and tripping my way through life hoping it will improve and hoping coming visits to doctors I know will explain why I’m losing this battle to stay in control of this body! Mind over matter! Every day brings hope that it will improve and I will walk head up again but whatever- I’m not going to a home to be neglected and mistreated as in childhood! I’m staying here in my garden talking to the plants and watching them grow! The floor can be comfortable for a while I’ve discovered too! Empowering myself to deal with physical weakness in different ways and meet the emotional disappointment of family who don’t want to know! I won’t be bullied again into anything I don’t want ever! I was once accused of smiling too much and realised it was a consequence of being beaten as a child and locked in the bathroom for hours while my mother sang “Let the sun shine in, face it with a grin” etc ! So for years and years, I wore a mask of cheerfulness when dealing with everyone outside home and was not even aware of it! A

t some point, not aware either, I started to cry instead! A gerontologist said why do your always cry? I stopped to think at what point in life did I stop smiling and start crying and I don’t know? Is my life coming to an end? I don’t know either? But no one is going to shut me away, sedate me and take away my right to independence? This I know? So bring on the Sunshine! And time in the garden! It doesn’t mind if I cry! I’ll find a way around! Look after yourselves 

@tonys @PeppyPatti @thyme

Re: Good Morning!

@PeppiPatty @tyme  ^^^^ re @Doldip15 's post

 

That's heavy stuff Doldip. I was never physically abused , well that often as a child. I was a smiler too til grew out of it in late 20s Ididnt even know I was doing it. People would tell me, or call me 'smiley' and I would wonder why . Going back to bed here. its bit cool for me. 

Re: Good Morning!

I like reading letters just like that.  Thankyou @Doldip15   I don't know how old you are but your words take me back to a few months I worked in age care, Dementia.   Yes . .  I know, I see mouths agape and  brows a crossed. They let a mind as warped as mine near  comparatively normal people.

  Rn / manager of nursing at TAFE got me past the vetting process and into a job that few were

fit for, but I was born for. My teacher would have called it the grief loss and acceptance place.

I called it the  'left it too late place'  but thats a different argument. It was a puzzle factory where the fantasies of dreams unfulfilled finally could be realized, 'over n over'    .  A place demons fulfilled their desires,  over and over too.  My role, was an actor in their fantasies. Pick up the jist of the visions and try to guide them to happier conclusions.  Under the watchful eye of a cutting edge  D.O.N,   I was fortunate to be afforded the time to do that.   

 

Think your garden is a better option, but then I'll never really know the extent of the gardens in the minds of the locked dementia ward.     Mine have no fences. 

 

Their is a beautiful movie called  'No mans land' that far better offers the solutions to loneliness  that I,

every now and then suggest.    It won all sorts of awards.   Loneliness does have a nemesis. 

But much must be given,  for much to be gained. The first family I ever had, lived in an eclectic 

menagerie of tiny homes on wheels.  We had nothing, yet everything. 

People don't like change so no one ever takes my advice, but I can promise you because I did make 

changes.  There is a family out there, waiting with open arms to be met halfway. 

But you may have to give up everything you know to effect change.

 

And so I wonder.  We all know how to end loneliness. We just are not feeling enough pain to get up and leave all our meaningless objects behind. 

 

I remember camping at  Mission Beach once. There was a bus propped up on blocks of wood n concrete. Wheels had rusted off.  Over damper and wine they told me someone drove their bus there.  They were to old to do it back then, and they had been there 17 years.!    I stayed a month.

There was not a single evening that the dozen assorted chairs outside that bus were not filled with 

friendship and laughter.

 

We do what we must to make change and overcome loneliness.  So long as we do . . . Something.!

Even if it means our broken buses have to get towed kicking and screaming,   there. . .

 

@Former-Member  @Shaz51  @MDT   @Glisten   @Oaktree  @Shaz51  @Meowmy @greenpea 

@SmilingGecko  @Tilz  @Adge  @Historylover  @ENKELI @greenpea  @StuF @Lila3 

@saturnzoon  @EternalFlower  n @Jynx  and all..

Have a sparkling day everyone.                              Back tomorrow.                                         tonys..