Lived Experience Forum

[DoneInDialogue]

Hi Angel.....it's a human ability to dissociate so everyone is capable of 'doing it' but the actual psychiatric condition is said to establish itself in intelligent children under school age, when something extremely traumatic occurs. When such a young child cannot comprehend and absorb what has occurred in order to continue living the life they know, the psyche actually splits into two....the part that experienced whatever happened and the 'front' person dealing with day to day reality......if continued trauma keeps happening further splits in the personality or psyche can eventuate.

it's a fascinating insight into how the human mind actually works and assistance and knowledge in unveiling and reuniting the hidden aspects (to the self) is really in it's early stages.....Joanne Woodward starred as one such personality in 1957 "The Three Faces of Eve" based on a true story....yet on seeing the cause of her split I wondered about the truth of the facts!

Another movie is based on a Mary Higgins Clark book "All Around Town" and it entails (as stories do) an all round beginning and end to a DID personality.

I was about to start a post on discussing these two movies as a means of conversing on the subject and other's input.....for me personally the way to go!......hope my post helped......DID:)
 

[chemonro]

Hi @DoneInDialogue welcome to the forum! I think you're spot on in your comments. I'll look out for that movie.

[Former-Member]

Not exactly given 'DID' label, except by my sister, but have been labelled 'fragmented' 'dissociation' 'Complex PTSD', 'Depression & Anxiety" "BPD' 'Mood switching'. BP etc Whatever fits, that's in the MH bible that is, the DSM.
One thing I hate the most with it is the memory gaps. Some big gaps, but usually day to day little things - like finding new clothes I don't remember buying. Misplacing things aroy d the home & finding them down the track (after having to go out & buy them again), finding them in a special place where I'd started a wgole new system. Projects started, really good ones, put down and forgotten. Not following conversations or movies well. When I find the the memory sometimes comes back to me but its foggy. It (switching) is uaially preceded by bouts of disociation , which I call 'phasing' where everything seems fuzzy, like I'm not there, not in my body, just observing - walking feels like floating, I don't feel pain, and sometimes I do stupid things, or want to do them, don't know why, roleplay in my mind. Even Suicidal ideology is often a part of it. A build up of stress you see. The 'phsing' is my warning sign, to change my lifestyle - to reduce the stress quickly, so I don't switch, so stupid stuff. I quit my last job over this. Wasn't worth killing t. When I go under its a lonely long rough road back, not sure I'd survive another.
What I found helpful is Mindfulness 'Grounding' exercises. Engaging the x5 senses. You said smells, I find strong smells very good too, and touch. Pathways straight to the heart I guess.
Many still don't believe in did, they say its a choice mW make to wear a different persona, switch hats for certain roles so to speak. Who knows, labels are tricky.
Thanks for this thread 🙂
It's pretty lonely trail

[Maggie]

I have DID, I was diagnosed years ago. It has been trial and error. I have a very understanding Social Worker. The mental health were of no help at all. One of my personalities has grown from 5 then to 7 and is now 13. The others have all stayed the same age. Many have shared the memory they hold and fade into the back ground, but others are there all the time. I dissociate a lot . I find I have become a hermit, fear of people and not being able to cope outside my home are real. I have found myself miles away not remembering how I got there. I have things in my cupboards that I have never seen before. I have no experience of integrating. At first I was terrified of the personalities and locked them in a dungeon in the back of my mind. They slowly came out and after and I took down walls I had put between them. They are all in one group now. On longer afraid of the personalities just the world around me. Friends have all walked away. A lonely road I find, but the abuse that brought this has to play a part also. I wish you all the best

[LillyEtAl]

We have DID was Dx 13 years ago. Very much trial and error and can be painful trying to get help when a majority of Psychiatrists still don't believe in it, yet we are SO lucky to have two specialist Trauma and DID units, 1 in Brisbane and 1 in Townsville. Very hard to get into and both a only covered by private health insurance.

[Dearprudence9]

Hi, we have dissociative identity disorder. Diagnosed for a few years now. it has been very hard to find information, and from the few people I've talked to (not just in Australia) it is very hard to find the right help. People, even professionals, just don't get it or don't believe in it. From what I've gathered over the years, dissociation is a spectrum with everyday things that everyone experiences (like driving from one place to another and not realising how you got there) to the other end of the spectrum, where you have DID. I've heard of complex PTSD mentioned in conjunction with dissociative disorders as (from what I know) complex PTSD has to do with repeated trauma that can have to do with childhood too. From what we've been told, therapy is what helps people with DID. Learning to connect with the parts, building communication, working through the trauma, and, in some cases, working towards integration. Though not everyone decides on integration. Everyone I've talked to with DID is different. Systems can be different. Number of parts/alters can be different. I wish there was more understanding about DID, and more acceptance of it. We are not strange or weird. Just a little different. We are very lucky that after years and years of seeing different psychiatrists, ending up in hospital, tons of different kinds of medications- we found a psychiatrist who referred us to the right kind of therapist. It's still taking a lot of work, but we are a lot more stable now. Would love to hear about other people's experiences of finding out about their Parts/alters. We had no idea about DID, until we started work with our therapist and she met one of the other parts/alters.

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Dearprudence9,

You might want to connect with @Former-Member here, who has written about DID. Like you they have written about not many people believing him/her. They are looking for to connect with other people that have DID to get some advice.

CB

[Former-Member]

hi @Dearprudence9

as @CherryBomb mentioned i suffer from DID i have since i was 6 but i am 24 now and only just sought medical help. i went through a life time of people not believing me right down to my own mother hitting my when an alter was out and my not remembering it happened. i suffered lots of abuse from the age of 3 all through childhood wich according to drs is the reason for my DID and other conditions i have. i have put my story here but it is in great detail (its the last comment). i have three alters, the one im most connected to is Kelly she is 4 and has been with me for as long as i can remember. when i was really little kelly was was imaginary friend (yes i could see her) and i could hear her in my head. i no longer see her she is just an alter but i can still talk to her in my head. dispite the chatter she does insid my head she does not talk when she is out another unique thing about her is she is autistic even though i am not.  recently i have discovered that i have 2 more sarah who is 6 and casey who is 8 i am yet to find out if that is all i have or if there are more. 

one big thing i have discovered since i started talking to others about it is that its common for people with DID to feel that they are alone and no one understands i grew up thinking this till i met my fiance since then i havent felt i was alone he does everything to make sure i know that im not alone as old habits die hard and i often keep things to myself bottled up. i reacently talked to one person who feels that they are destined to be alone because of their DID and that i should just face the reality that im gonna be the same i actully couldnt believe it, it shocked the hell out of me. anyway one of the hardest things i had to deal with is that the first time i had to change theripist i had spent 2 years learning to trust and finally tell her my story and start to heal from my childhood truma and then she retired i was so upset over it it was a year before i finally went to another one.

so i had to learn that therapists come and go as long as my main support (my fiance) was with me still i was fine. anyway if you have any questions im happy to answer them as best as i can.

hi @CherryBomb

just thought i would clarify that im female

[Dearprudence9]

Hi @Former-Member

Thank you for sharing. I'm female too, and am nearly 29. I never knew we had DID. But I did know that things would happen that I knew I wouldn't do and stuff like that. I never thought of my childhood as different or that it had affected me until I started work with my counsellor. She helped me see that my childhood was very different to most kids and that my dad really wasn't helpful and that lots of things that happened when I was young have contributed to where I am today.
I read your post about your story. I can't imagine going through all of that.
Losing a therapist, especially once you've opened up and learned to trust, is so so hard. I know how much we rely on our counsellor and we would be devastated if she had to leave. I'm glad you have such an understanding fiance. My close friends and family still don't really understand DID, but they do care.
I have 9 alters, though I think there could be one more. I hear them in my head. Not all the time. But sometimes it can be quite loud if they're all going on about something. It's taken a lot of work with my counsellor to work on communication and stuff. And now, a lot of the time we are Co concious. So that helps as there is less time loss.
So um yeah. It's nice to meet you. Do you have a new therapist now? I think you're pretty incredible