Lived Experience Forum

[Sahara]

Hi @Former-Member,

that's good that you have a lawyer for your daughter and let hope it goes smoothly and justice is served. I don't have a lot of faith in the courts, but I'm just one person with a negative experience.... and there are plenty of people who have managed to obtain justice. I do think the tide might be turning in favour of women and their rights, these days.

I have been very busy today working! My husband and I have a little cottage industry.... it's fun but tiring.

I hoped my best  friend might come and stay with us a few nights, but she is busy.... she is very social. In fact, I doubt she would even consider me her 'best friend', because she had a lot of close friends... we don't get to see each other all that often.

I am feeling quite good, because I am worn out right now. When I'm tired, I don't seem to worry about things as much... it's like my mind slows down!

Last night I had a dream in which I was in a row-boat in a storm on the high seas. I wasn't sure that I would survive, but then the seas calmed down and I woke up.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Sahara - sounds like you had a good day like myself. I would love to hear more about your cottage industry - does that incorporate you cooking up a storm? You are a lady of many talents. 

I too always feel better when busy - it distracts the mind and the best thing for anxiety I find. Especially if it is something we enjoy doing. I love craft/art of any kind, I can be quite obsesssed with cross stitch. Not sure why. It would be a dream for me to paint as you do - but I can't draw. I often visit art galleries, we have so many in the beach surburbs here where I live. The problem is I come out quite broke - am a keen collector. I particularly like aboriginal paintings.

We spent the day at the beach. It was wonderful to watch the whole family have fun together. Our daughter joined us - I haven't seen her laugh and that happy for ages. Very special. And my grandson was thrilled to bits as he doesn't get a chance to see the water much where he lives - so he loves coming to mummas and daddas house (None of this grandma talk 😏)

He is quite the character. Yesterday when I was on my iPad he proclaims "Mumma I need you to get off your tablet!". Funny how roles can reverse at times, lol. He likes my undivided attention God bless his cotton socks. I am quite exhausted by the end of the day.

It was also funny the way I found out about the laws regarding psychological abuse. I found out whilst having my feet done! I was telling my podiatrist about the situation with my daughter and her abusive ex and he knew someone who suffered similar and informed of the fact that can now be an offence reported to the police etc. And that's where it all started. But the police have told us that she has a case but it is a difficult one to prove in the courts. Will have to wait and see how that one pans out. Will keep you informed.

Your dream was a positive one. What it saids to me is that all the turmoil you battle in your mind/emotions will settle in time. The calm after the storm. I think that process is just starting to happen for you now. It can be up and down but what you will find that as you work through it you will gradually have more good days than bad. And more experiences of inner peace as you grow. It can be a rocky road but so worth it when we find smooth ground. And I will be your friend for as long as you need....hugs 💕

[Sahara]

Thanks, @Former-Member,

I have been a bit calmer lately. It sounds like you have been having a great time at the beach! I'm glad your daughter was able to laugh and smile. She is coming back to herself, after all the trauma. It is good to see when someone begins to recover after turmoil. Human beings are so resilient... it always amazes me. 

I wish I could tell you all about our cottage industry... but I feel a bit worried about maintaining anonymity. Do you ever worry about this?? It holds me back a lot when writing here on Sane. There are plenty of things I would like to talk about, but I don't... I just worry that someone I know could guess who I am, if they happened to be reading this. Then what? Would I deny it, if they asked me? I don't know.

I suppose it's a long shot- being recognised- but it's something that causes me anxiety.

Does anyone else out there have these worries?  I wonder if it all stems from my mum reading my diary when I was a teenager and me feeling that my privacy had been invaded?

[Former-Member]

@Sahara - that's perfectly understandable on a public forum to keep that information private. I feel the same. I will mention though as it may have been an oversite on your part that you told members here what type of small business you had some posts back, hence why I enquired as I thought you were fine with it and took your lead. You may want to go back and delete this if feeling anxious.

Others here do talk about those things in your list here, it comes down to personal choice. I don't get anxious but I am a private person by nature - I like my privacy in real life. And on here. That's just me. And I don't have that need for friendships having close friends in real life. In the nature of support I will offer friendship thinking it may ease someone's pain and loneliness at that time in the hope to aid their healing. I can't seem to win lately lol. 

I apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable, this was furthest from my intentions believe me. I have learnt a lot these past few days. I will continue to offer support when needed, sharing what helped me heal etc but not get into general chit chat. I did this on BB and it worked well. 

I also appreciate my annoynomity, that's the attraction here for me, apart from the obvious fact others can relate better and the support is great. I have been on forums for years and never had an issue in anyway because of the annoynomity I uphold. So I agree with what you are saying.

Hope you are having a fun Sunday. I look forward to reading more about your dreams - mine are usually nonsense where yours are quite interesting. 😊

[Sahara]

Sorry, @Former-Member! No, of course you did not make me feel uncomfortable. Not at all.... I would love to be talking more about my life and I love it when anyone asks. 

Sorry if I came across like I was shutting you out... and yes, I realise that I did mention that our cottage industry was about food. I love to cook and so does my husband. We work well together and we have managed to turn a good profit. We don't do it all the time... just when an opportunity for work comes up. 

However, even this type of work can be stressful for me, which is something I am really looking at.

I would go on and on about our business, if I could, believe me! I would love to share...  it's just that I have also written such negative things about my family, that I would feel so embarrassed if anyone were to work out who I am. (Very, very unlikely!) At this point, if anyone was to get an inkling about who I am, I would simply deny it outright. There is nothing that I have written that I feel is too revealing. 

Years ago, I was reading an anonymous blog on-line (it wasn't even all that interesting) and the woman who wrote it revealed the name of her local football team. Then someone must have googled the name of their team to review what info was out there on-line and the blog was discovered! The person doing the googling recognised the woman!! Oh no! It caused such havoc in her personal life.  I always remembered this and worry about being discovered!

I absolutely think that this worry is part of my anxiety issues. It's a catch-22 situation - I wouldn't be anxious about this if I didn't suffer from anxiety, I'm sure. 

Lots of people here on Sane do reveal their occupation and a number of other things that could potentially be identifying.... but it makes it much easier to understand where they are coming from, when you can read more detailed information about them.... I really appriciate what people are willing to reveal. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Sahara - I am glad I didn't t make you feel uncomfortable and I do like to read how you are going 😊

I understand your concern about the possibility of being recognised and then family knowing what you said about them etc. That is the beauty of remaining annoynomous, we can then speak freely without such fear and holding back. Others can help more that way I feel. 

I had such a good time with my extended family - it went really well creating good memories for a change. But I am also really pooped. Don't let yourself get too stress over your work - try and keep within your own personal limits. Only you will know what they are 💕

[Sahara]

Hi @Former-Member,

it's great that you have been having a wonderful time with your extended family. 

I having been going along pretty well, too. Just the usual anxiety that comes and goes! Same old, Same old.

I am going for a bike ride this morning and then doing some volunteering this afternoon. Things have been a little quiet at the community arts project. It's such a great project but somehow I fear it will fold... there are just not enough volunteers and people are dropping out all the time. It's such a pity, becuase the project is a great opportunity to work together as a group and we have already come so far.

I found out my 'best friend' is planning on moving away this year... she already lives several hours away and I don't see her much. Now she is planning to move to a town that will be around 800 km from here!! So far! Honestly, I feel as though I will never see her. The truth is that it's probably going to be just too far away. We will keep in contact by phone.

Hope you have a great day, @Former-Member. 

[Sahara]

Last night I had another strange dream. This time it was about a former friend from over 10 years ago. This lady really hurt me and betrayed me. I hope that I forgive her, now, though. I really do struggle with forgiveness!

In the dream, she wrote me a letter and I had to decide how I would respond. I decided not to say the things I really wanted to say. I decided to instead just write her a happy, care-free response, just sharing some harmless details of my busy life. I was hiding behind a mask, even in a letter! 

Well, I suppose we all do it. 

I think I had this dream because recently a woman left the Arts Project that I help manage by writing me a brief email. She didn't bother to explain why she was leaving or anything. It was just a small, polite note. She did wish us all the best.

For some reason, I felt personally rejected by this note! I don't know why. Probably because she didn't give any reason for leaving. It brought up a lot of emotion for me. I realised I felt angry. 

I left it a few days to cool off and then replied with an equally polite email. What else could I do? Like, call her up and ask why she is leaving? That would be a bit intrusive!  Sometimes we just have to accept that we will never know why things happen.

I over-think things too much. 

Going for a bike ride this morning and then going to see a free concert this afternoon with hubby.