Wobbly after Hospital

[Rosemary4]

I'm looking for support after just getting out of hospital with bipolar relapse. Really hard since my baby sister died to suicide few months back. How do we feel independent again after Hospital? 

[Oaktree]

@Rosemary4 

I know what you mean when you say that you still feel wobbly. I too have bipolar and I feel like because hospitals are so desperate for beds that they put you back out on the street before you are truly ready. I am so sorry for your loss - that must be really hard and I am sure that it rocked your whole world. As to how to feel independent again after hospital I would say it's about taking baby steps and not putting too much pressure on yourself. Best wishes

Meggle

[frog]

Hi @Rosemary4 and welcome to the forum.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what it's like and it is no wonder that you are finding it very hard.

Another wobbly one here. I also have Bipolar and had the experience of leaving hospital feeling totally unprepared. Agree with @Oaktree - baby steps, look for little wins.

Do you supportive friends/family/health professionals? I was really isolated before I ended up in hospital so it was a slow process building those relationships and supports. Little by little x

[Shaz51]

hello and welcome @Rosemary4 

sending you lots of tender hugs my friend 

one step at a time 

@Oaktree. @frog 

[HenryX]

@Rosemary4 

Hello Rosemary4

Welcome to this forum.

I have found this forum to be really helpful, not in a directive way, but rather, a very nurturing and supportive way. People who have experienced the feelings that I feel, and have had. Often in the same way, but it is surprising how often people have offered meaningful guidance and support from their, sometimes, very different perspectives.

The beauty of the forum maintaining anonymity is that we really can express our deep and genuine feelings in a very caring, nurturing, supportive environment.

You have mentioned your little sister. Would you feel comfortable telling us a little about her. I can imagine the sadness and support flowing in your direction from the people reading your post today, as is extended your way from me.

Whatever feels right for you here, at any given time, is appropriate.

I often find that it is easier for me to respond to people's ideas, questions, thoughts and the way that they describe their feelings.

Members of the forum, as are you one now, can suggest particular threads or areas of the forum that may offer you ideas about other people's path that may be helpful for you.

I certainly look forward to 'speaking' with you, and, or reading your posts here Rosemary4.

With the hope that we will be able to accompany you on this part of the journey

With My Very Best Wishes

HenryX

P.S.   To answer or "tag" a particular member, with your cursor in the reply box, you can click on the “@” symbol on your keyboard. A drop-down menu will show the people who have replied to your post. You can select one, or as many as you would like to “tag”. As I have done with your Forum name and the CC: below for other members (no inverted commas around the @ symbol)

CC:  @Shaz51 @frog @Oaktree 

[Alicat]

Hi Rosemary 🌷

Give yourself permission to go slow and stay quite for a week or so and get used to your own surroundings again, I know how I feel when coming home, everything feels unfamiliar in my familiar surroundings. Double up on self care and being kind to yourself, call or talk to someone who understands and cares for you daily. Try meditation or some gentle music in background and try to keep away from over stimulating places for a bit.

Once your feeling stronger in yourself google groups or professionals in your area who deal with the grief your going through 🙏 We can't do this alone! Xx

[Rosemary4]

Hi everyone, thank you for replies. Sounds like you do  understand somewhat.
They sent me home before I was ready. Be good if there was some sort of half-way house with support and milestone steps from us, so we're not so alone while vulnerable. 

Also, might be the pills, but my coordination is off  (wobbly), especially with steps and uneven ground, it's like I'm floating.
And thanks for condolences re my sister, she struggled so long, i kinda knew she'd pull it off one day but ya never prepared for it,  the finality. She was 5yrs younger than me and quite the trendsetter,  always trying to get me to wear more makeup and stuff. She wore black a lot "mourning her lost childhood" she use to joke. Had humour. We talked a lot, said I was the only one who understood her upbringing nightmare, what it was like. Actually, I didn't like being a sounding board for bitching about mum etc But I understand it & we were both lonely. Yes, it has rocked my world to lose her.. Feels too hard to go on without her, someone clo , nobody to really connect with on the little thngs 😞
Taking "baby steps" and low stimuli is coming natural thanks, I'm just exhausted and scared to bother with much at all. Slept most today.
No, I don't have much support irl. Well, maybe one friend who drops by a lot, and the hospital case worker RN, and now you guys I hope, When I get to know yas. It's good to know I'm not alone in this.
Hope to start posting on other threads soon, but not ready yet.
I don't have anyone who cares enough to let me call them every day, wouldn't want to bother people. Nobody understands. Everyone I know just tells me to 'get over it already' so I hide away.
Must do meditation and gentle music more. No problem staying away from over stimulating places like crowds and shopping centres - haven't handled them for years..
"Feeling stronger" hmm, will it ever come? Not sure can  talk about it. Kinda don't think it helps really, tried so many different counsellors, they seem lost to me, got me in the 'too hard' basket or something, and thats worse now I'm older 😢 depresses me to think about, their 50min hour. Just clucking here is all I can handle right now, getting use to home again, making my own meals etc. Need groceries
Thanks again for replying.
Rosemary4🌿

[HenryX]

Hi Rosemary4

Really pleased that you have been able to respond to the people here.

Sounds like the medication giving you that floating feeling, and coordination out of adjustment.

Hearing you about missing your sister. She will always have a special place in your heart, from the way that you have spoken about her. What you share about her with members here also keeps her memory strong.

Hoping most sincerely, that you will, as so many others have done, find a place here in a secure, caring, supportive environment.

It might seem strange that people who only know each other by a pseudonym and an avatar can actually come to be so close and warm in their wishes and support for each other.

I am not really up with a lot of the shorthand of android, iPhone and face-book, so it took me a while to figure out irl. There are normally people about on the forum, so it is always worth popping in to see who is around when you feel like it. There are chat threads and more in-depth threads. So hopefully, you will get to know your way around fairly quickly. I must admit that it took me a while to work out some of the functions of the site, but people will “tag” you to give directions and suggestions.

I will be around for another half hour or so if you would like to 'talk'

Certainly look forward to talking with you more Rosemary4

With Very Best Wishes

HenryX

[Rosemary4]

Thank you @HenryX, you're very kind. I was just in my courtyard garden a while and found the sun just beautiful. Taken me days to step out there. No people anywhere, i was nervous to go out and got the heebeegeebees, tears and found myself back in bed now, but it was so nice so naybe try again later. Fighting if those suicidal thoughts hard, so hard to find reason to live on our own with problems. But guess I've come this far. Thanks for connecting.
Rosemary4 🌿

[HenryX]

Hello Rosemary4

It was lovely to receive you response this morning.

It is just afternoon here in Western Australia.

I like your description of the courtyard garden and the sunshine.

Every little change seems enormous, at the moment, I would imagine. Even going from one room to another, or out to the courtyard. However, as others have said, it is a matter of taking small steps initially, and gradually working outwards a little bit at a time.

I can feel the sensations of grief, similar to what I think you would be feeling. My Mum passed away two years ago, the anniversary is coming up in a few days time. I am feeling those feelings, and also for the other people who were caring for her in the last three years of her life. Mum had lived with me at home for seven years before going into residential care for those last three years. Residential care is only 750 metres from my home so I was able to visit her each day during that time.

The reason that I talk about that time for me, with you, is that you are helping me in a way, because I know that you are aware of the feelings. I encourage you not to hide from those feelings. I can understand the sudden rush of nervousness and tears and retreat to the bedroom. Through those experiences comes some other meanings, and hopefully the further opportunity to understand and empathise with others and provide mutual and encouraging support.

Looking forward to talking with you more Rosemary4

Very Best Wishes

HenryX