I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I didn’t realise this was actually a thing. I’ve kept it to myself as I thought it was weird and no one would understand. 

 

[rav3n]

omg @Captain24 i do this ALL the time 😅 especially when i'm doing chores, i end up thinking a lot and my sister always catches my expressions ughhh

[Ru-bee]

I do this too @Captain24! Then I feel embarassed and hope that nobody saw 😅 but it is nice to know that others do this too, maybe we're all weird, some are just better at hiding it.

[Captain24]

I’m so glad I’m not alone @Ru-bee @rav3n. I have never admitted for fear of being told it’s not normal. I sometimes even answer myself out loud. 90% of the time I’m on my own though. But I definitely do the facial expressions and head movements around people sometimes and if they ask what I just it’s nothing. I get embarrassed and if possible walk away. 

You have both made me feel better about it. 

[Captain24]

There is a support group that has started here in town. It started last week but I was at work. I’m thinking of going tonight but I’m really scared. I’m not sure whether I should go or not. What if I make an idiot of myself? What if I can’t cope in that environment? What if I close off? What are they going to expect from me? 

It goes for 2 hours. That’s a really long time to ‘people’ for me. My meds will have worn off by then so there’ll be a lot of noise in my head. 

[rav3n]

aww i'm glad! @Captain24 and honestly it made me feel better too knowing that i'm not alone either.

i talk to myself out loud too! i mainly do it when i'm anxious or home alone. i've seen people say and do some really weird stuff in public, so i try to tell myself that me making faces isn't too bad. 

ooo what's this support group about? is it a mental health one? it's so fair to have those worries, i'd have similar concerns too about joining a new space. when i hear 'support' group, i imagine being welcoming and inclusive is one of their key goals (or at least i hope it is!)
2hrs is quite long hey, i wonder if they have an email/number you can contact to see if you can learn more about it, see if they have 'break' rooms to take a breather in, etc. i find that letting someone know how i'm feeling (e.g. this is my first time and i'm really nervous about fitting in and saying the wrong thing) can be helpful, sometimes they might be able to offer you some validation and assurance. 

[Captain24]

Yeah. It’s a mental health one @rav3n. We don’t have anything like it in town. I have messaged her and said it’s way out of my comfort zone but she said I won’t be the only one feeling that way. 

Im guessing that she will understand how nervous I am. It’s hard to, as it started last week so I’m going into a group that has already started. It goes until the 31st of December. Maybe it will be good for me to see I’m not alone in town. One guy from work did comment on the Facebook post so I’m secretly hoping he goes so I’m not alone but at the same time I’m scared if he does that he will know I have issues and struggle. But that could also mean I have someone that understands at work. This is just adding to the conflict in my head. 

It’s 6:30-8:30 so I’ll have to eat before I go and I have to take my night meds in a full stomach so that makes it hard too. What if I get too tired? 

Sorry I’m feeling so much right now. 

[rav3n]

that's really cool that they've opened up a support group near you!! @Captain24 

i imagine with support groups, there's will be some inconsistency with attendances (whether that's due to work, school, life challenges, etc) and maybe you won't be the only newcomer. so glad you've reached out to them already - i reckon she's right too, i imagine this sort of new space would be overwhelming for a lot of people, even people who have already attended the first one. but with time, it will get easier and more comfy 😊

it would be nice if the guy from work was there hey, a friendly face can be helpful. if you don't go tonight, there's always next week too. 

if you do end up going tonight, let me know how it goes! 

[Captain24]

I’ve decided to have something small to eat so I’m not hungry while I’m there and have dinner when I get home and take my meds then @rav3n. 

I’ll post tonight how it goes and I’ll tag you in it so you get it tomorrow. 

[AuntGlow]

She's right. @Captain24 

This sounds really invalidating... someone can be good at their role and still be behaving in a way that isn't okay - and you shouldn't have to simply deal with it. It's reassuring to know someone else feels the same as you here. Are they someone you are friendly with or can confide in?

I trust that you know your situation well and will do what is best for you, but always here to remind you that you have a right to speak up. 💛

Definitely - I know you have some really lovely rapport with people here too and I encourage you to reach out as much as you can during this time. ☺️