I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I’ve just gotten to the support group. I’m early and I’m sitting in the car trying to convince myself that it’s ok to go in. That I will be ok. I’m so scared that I feel like I’m going to be sick. Plus there is a major storm warning and I’m scared as to how Pix will cope. 

[AuntGlow]

Proud of you for showing up to the support group @Captain24! I know how daunting new situations can feel, especially when they challenge our comfort zone. I often feel this way when I am resistant to something that may make me feel vulnerable, and you know what, I always feel 10x lighter when I come out the other side. So I encourage you to explore this group to the best of your capacity - remember that you can always leave if it becomes too much. 💛

[tyme]

Hola @Captain24 ,

How are you?

How you managing with your challenge? (smoking)?

I'm one sticky note (9 tasks) down! That's an accomplishment. I refused to stop working until I finished and I had you at the back of my mind cheering me on!

[Captain24]

The meeting was different. It’s based off AA meetings. There is a 12 step program. I’m not sure it’s for me but I’ll give it a try, I’ll go again next week and see. Then I’ll be at work for the next 2 weeks so we will see how I feel about it. @tyme @AuntGlow @rav3n 

[Captain24]

Hey @tyme 

Im doing ok. 

I went and got the cheap smokes and they taste horrible so they will slow me down and help with quitting. When I get paid I’ll get the chewing gum and she if that helps too. 

Well done on completing so much and finishing a while sticky note! I’m proud of you. 

My auntie never called me it. She was suppose to go to a psych today and threw herself on the floor and chucked a tantrum and wouldn’t go. Her partner called his sister, who is a nurse, to come and help. She took one look at my auntie and called 000. They have taken her to a psych ward and are thinking she has bipolar and adhd. She is an involuntary patient so she is there for a while I’m guessing. 

Mum has been ringing the family to them about her. 

[tyme]

Wow.. I didn't realise she was THAT unwell. I hope things improve for her. I guess mental health is becoming more normalised in your household? Do you think so?

Oh, and those cheaps cigs sound like a good idea. 

Believe in yourself hun. It's hard, I know it is. @Captain24 

That's why we're here

[AuntGlow]

I am so proud of you for giving it a go! Little reflective question: what felt good, what felt less good, and why? @Captain24 💛

[Captain24]

I thought she was and was trying to work out how to do it. @tyme. She is in the right place for help. 

It has been normalised. Mum has even being telling her partner that she will eventually be ok as I have both and I’m doing well and seeking help. She will get there too. 

I will need your help getting through it. 

How much of your notes are you planning on doing tomorrow? 

[Captain24]

It felt good that I actually went @AuntGlow. That took a lot of courage on my part. 

The whole concept of it doesn’t feel good. It kinda feels like a cult. They was they talk and think. I’m not on the same level. I didn’t understand a lot and didn’t say much. I didn’t really participate. It’ll take me a little while to have that confidence. One lady that was on zoom  said that she was neurodivergent and it’s only new she was only diagnosed 2 years ago. I said quietly to the girl next to me mine was 2 weeks ago. At the end when everyone on zoom logged off and it was just 3 of us in the room, the girl that was next to me asked if I said 2 weeks ago and I said actually it’s 2 weeks on Friday. She said so my head was in a roller coaster. I was like totally! She seemed nice. Apparently we all have to make a call before next weeks session. I’m suppose to make a call to the leader. That’ll be hard as I’ll be at work for most of it. I’ll try Friday morning but the person o have to ring works. 

[Captain24]

The facilitator from last night is messaging me. I’m not sure I like it. It’s nice that she wants to get in touch but I just dont know about it. I had enough trouble getting to the group. I didn’t participate I just sat there listening. Now she is talking about coffee catch ups. Not total about the group but just catch ups. I don’t know how to do small talk. I don’t even know how to talk in some situations. I don’t do pressure, I back away really quickly. I don’t want to seem rude but I’m just not ready for it, especially when I’m not sure the group is for me. They remember stuff and know stuff I’ve got nothing. I don’t understand meanings in phrases.