Trigger Warning Suicidal Idiation

[ClockFace]

I just sent an email to my support person and asked how I get referred to a suicide prevention team. My suicidal ideation has become really bad. Im getting pretty strong urges and I feel like Im about out of sheer will power and determination to keep on pushing on. 

I just dont see my future as one I want to be a part of. I have a ridiculous list of medical and mental health issues. Im now taking 34 tablets a day. Some to treat the side affects of the medication I take to treat the condition. I feel constantly sick and my GP is sure that its because of interactions between medications.

Lately its been issue after issue, I was in ER yesterday, I have to have an urgent ultrasound today and go back to ER after that. So it will be 2 days in ER to deal with my cellulitis issue. 

I keep swelling and bloating, which just compounds how uncomfortable I feel. 

Even if they get treatment organised and embedded. The current shit storm of issues stops. My future looks pretty shit. Even if I manage to go back to work, Im only doing it now to pay my medical costs, thats it. 

Seriously what future is that, whats the point?

[hanami]

Hey @ClockFace 

That's not good to hear. Sorry things have gotten so low for you. Let us know how you go with a referral. You've shown strength reaching out. I hope they can help you, I really do.

Hanami

[Blackbird11]

Hi @ClockFace 

I've experienced suicide ideation several times and it's so hard to manage on your own. Well done on reaching out it's so hard to do. If it gets worse call 000.

You can also contact us here...

1800 187 263.

Try place your hand on your heart and feel it beating, with every beat feel the love, reason and purpose you have. You are important and you matter.

[Blackbird11]

Hey @ClockFace 

So glad you've reached out. Handling suicide ideation on your own is very hard. We're here for you. I have had several experiences with suicidal ideation and reaching out for support has helped me. If things get worse call 000. You can talk to us here at 1800 187 263

Place your hand on your heart and feel it beating. With every beat feel the love, reason and purpose. You are important and you matter, be gentle with yourself as you work through your challenges, its hard but there is help.