Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Smc]

@Former-Member, been mulling over your post a bit.

Re. faith... I'm someone who doesn't have much patience with the "rejoice and it will all be OK" school of thought. I do think it's incredibly important to be on the lookout for "whatever is beautiful, excellent, praiseworthy" etc. in day to day life, but mourning is an OK thing too. "A sad face is good for the heart." Honesty with ourselves, the truth of what we're feeling, yes.

Years ago, I had to have emergency surgery. While recovering from that, and since, I've realised that there's a lot of differences between a critical event causing debilitation and a condition that results in slow degeneration. Both may bring the person to the same end point, but the slow process sneaks up to it, and the little adjustments the person makes to cope with the gradual loss of ability sometimes mask the extent of the debilitation until it reaches "critical".

We can't pinpoint any starting point with our daughter's MI. In parallel with that, it's hard to measure how much the strain of caring has immobilised us because it's been happening slowly. I do know that I've gradually had to let go of one thing after another, and I've battled to hang on to a lot of those until I couldn't keep holding on any more.

I think a lot of the "let go" things have been metaphorically "put in storage" rather than completely abandoned. I still buy books, even though I rarely find the energy to sit down and read one; I have all my pottery supplies and other art materials and tools waiting to be dusted off; I keep making little notes, and saving pictures and articles from the web, and buying magazines that are "one day" likely to be relevant to the big fix-up that our beloved scruffy old house needs so badly. And all that reflects the hope that "one day" life will get back to the point where I can make plans and set goals. (I have managed to hold on to gardening, even if it does spend a lot of time looking weedy! Oooh, that sounds like a metaphor all on its own...)

[Former-Member]

With you re: faith 

For me gardening was put on hold and I am so pleased it has returned.  My sewing machine remains untouched and I hope to again use it.

I haven't felt inclined to pick up my musical instrument either. I wasn't a very competent player and Mr Darcy  is asking if I intend to use it as it is part of the clutter.

[Smc]

Regardless of level of competence, if playing gave you pleasure before, it probably will again... I'd err on the side of keeping that one.

I still play the viola regularly, but a few other instruments are gathering dust. I'm keeping them regardless.

[Determined]

@Smc have been trying to respond to your new year post (back on page 😎 but the best I can come up with is with you on all that. I am seeing people i started out with this current round of uni moving on to internships or masters programs, other people I know progressing in their careers while i just put one foot in front of the next to survive (as is so common here). So while no answers here with you and hearing you.

As always i think @Former-Members response was spot on. 

[Smc]

@Determined, and sometimes knowing we're not the only ones makes a difference. Glad to have you here.

[Determined]

@Former-Member Im with SMC on the musical instrument.

I am far from a competent player but find playing a form of therapy. I mostly play hymns so that in itself is uplifting for me.  There was a time I considered selling my organ when I could not find any joy in it and was not playing. But sooo glad I kept it. A lot of $$ sitting there but it has been worth it in the long run. 

[Shaz51]

@Sam3

this is the thread I was talking about , have some good ideas and you are very welcomed to add some too

Hello @Determined, @Smc, @Former-Member, @Amberlulu, @outlander

[outlander]

yes welcome @Sam3 🙂 hope something here helps

[Shaz51]

@Amberluluhello , and how are you today xoxo

[Sam3]

Thanks heaps @Shaz51 for tagging me into this thread.

Good evening @Determined@Smc@Former-Member@Amberlulu lovely to ‘meet’ you! By way of introduction, I’m someone who has had & continues to have a pretty fortunate life. Unfortunately, though, I developed depression about 5 years ago after bereavement & other losses. I can identify with ?Amberlulu - it’s weird being on the other side, as I’ve worked in the mental health field for a lot of my career. I’m currently trying to recover from an acute depressive episode having trialled going off medication last month so have resumed treatment now. I was told by my boss 10 days ago that I was in the group being made redundant. Then yesterday I was informed I have thyroid issues. On the positive, I’ve been applying for several jobs (despite being low on confidence right now).

I hope you’re all having a pleasant Saturday night. I suppose I should make a small contribution to this forum discussion. I often get cognitively overwhelmed - my brain is my worst enemy (yeah, yeah, it can also be my best ally!). A useful coping strategy for me when feeling overwhelmed is to remind myself that “This too shall pass” & to employ any kind of distraction nearby!