Meeting the needs of children when a parent suffers from mental illness

[Smc]

@Determined, that is a tricky one. I hope the school is helpful. We had a hard enough time with our MI daughter. She's more or less normal IQ (maybe slightly below, but hard to be sure because anxiety has a negative influence on the tests) but she has trouble understanding appropriate context sometimes. At the same time, she thinks she understands perfectly, so that's led to a few fraught discussions/arguments.

[Determined]

I don't quite know how to feel about this...

S2 had his last councilling appointment today, the problem I have is that he was not told it was his last.  Or if he wax he did not understand.

When his appointment was finished I asked the councillor about a new appointment she said o... i think he is doing ok at the moment so he should be ok...

I just assumed she would have discussed this with him so didn't think anything of it... just thanked her for her help and left it at that, then this afternoon he was asking when his next appointment was... not very professional I dont think, especially when dealing with delicate a personality that worries about rejection. 

It is a great service and has been a fantastic support just the closure leaves a bit to be desired I think 😕

[Determined]

On a more positive note, we were able to register with centrelink yesterday for the child care rebate and have S3 enrolled in kindy starting in May, my darling decided that it was only 8 weeks to wait so that we can get him into our preferred kindy (is at the Christian school S2 goes to).   She is feeling more confident now there is a plan and timeline in place.  😊

[Determined]

8 weeks to wait was 8 weeks from when I am back at uni and less available to help.

[Determined]

I need to find a way to explain to my emotionally sensitive mother that when she has the children for afternoon after school (happens weekly) that they need to be home at a reasonable hour.  

7pm they arived home for dinner tonight and when they did they were spinning tops. Ok for mum and sister, they leave after dinner and leave us with the fall out. Neither my darling or I cope well when evening routine is messed up because it messes the children upmin so many ways most of all their behavior.  

Already had a meltdown from S2 over something small that would have been resolved if he was home on time.

[Determined]

It is almost at the point where if she cant respect our routine they cant visit during school term.  They think it is a joke even knowing how fragile our home enviornment is...

Feeling so angry at the moment and that upsets my darling and then she can't cope...😡

[Determined]

It has been a big day for our boys and I am unsure if / how to do a debrief with them...  I had to take my darling to emergency this morning and it was S1 who found her in need of assistance and came and got me. He has taken it very hard. We were at the hospital all day while the boys spent the day with my mum, they have been miserable till late this afternoon.

They seem ok at the moment. I just dont know what to do or say other than mummy and daddy love them very much. I will see how they are in the morning but unsure if I should see their teachers in the morning. They may need some additional space. 

I had really hoped we were past all this after a traumatic year last year. 

[Smc]

How's she going now @Determined?

We had our 13 y.o. daughter last night worried about nightmares that sound as if they're "inspired" by the similar start to the week we had. Sometimes telling them that you love them is about the only honest thing you can do. Is hard.... 

[Determined]

I would have preferred that she was admitted to hospital @Smc but she refused, she seems ok at the moment. If she told the dr what she told me when we got home Im sure she would have stayed but she was telling them what they wanted to hear to get out. I have to call her pdoc tomorrow for an urgent appointment. If physical symptoms presist she will be back to the hospital ED.

I just spoke to the boys and we prayed about the days events and they seemed a little more settled. 

S2 feels he is responsible as his arguing with me over something stupid despite me trying hard not to engage was what triggered the crisis.  Things were already shaky but that finished us off. 

S1 apologised for some really hurtful and nasty things he said to me in the midst of it all, he always blames me when things go bad but can usually see after how hard I am trying to keep it all together. 

Trust everything is ok for you and your family, 

[Smc]

Our older girl doesn't mesh well with the local hospital's mental health team. That's a mixture of her not always communicating what's happening (she freezes up and won't tell if she doesn't feel safe); her being resistant to trying a lot of their usual approaches; and possibly some unhelpful attitudes on their side too. So her ED visit earlier this week didn't really achieve anything. The psych unit was full up, but I'm not sure they would have admitted her anyway. One of their questionable attitudes is that they seem to want an admission to "achieve" something; but for us, there's some particularly bad nights when we'd be happy to simply have her in an environment where she'd be unable to self harm.

She seems to be back to shaky-stable for now, but same as with you, we never quite know when it will tip into unstable. Younger daughter's more settled tonight. Yeah, we pray with her too when she's finding the stress too much. Hey, we pray with her anyway- but particularly those times.