Topic Tuesday // Burnout // 24 Jan. 7pm AEDT

[BlueBay]

@Former-Member

I actually went to the movies today all on my own for the very first time in my life!!!  I was going to back out and not go but then thought no i am going; and i enjoyed it so much that i will make this a monthly thing.

but i don't do much else on my own; it's hard when you work 3 days and then have appts on my days off and try to keep up with the housework as well as rest.  Oh i do enjoy watering my garden, i actually do this every morning just after breakfast.  i have noticed its a pattern now that once i finish breakfast, i go outside with the dog. it's just nice to smell the fresh air and see the garden and flowers.

I have an appt soon with my psych, i know he was a bit worried about my stressors at the moment so i am sure he will keep an eye on how i am going.

that's why when i go into hospital for a few weeks, it feels like a respite break from everything in life and it sort of restarts me again to go home and cope again. (does that make sense)

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member To answer your other question - I feel what I need to refuel is just some peace. A break from the o going stressors I face and a break from some of the fears I battle (fears of losing those I have left - I seek a way to overcome this, to find a type of resignation to what is if that makes sense). I have done this to a large degree but the latter is starting to wage a war within me again. 

[Former-Member]

Talking through the last year on a deeper level with someone - in a situation where it's okay to not be the strong one - might be the key for you @Former-Member.  When we have to be the strong one all the time we can become a little emotionally blunted as we don't allow ourselves to feel things fully.  That seems too risky.  Others can be emoting around us but we stay strong.  Stiff upper lip as the English say. 

One of the problems there is that this dynamic can carry over into every aspect of our lives until we find ourselves unable to be emotionally vulnerable with anyone.  Because our role as the strong one has been cemented.

This isn't necessarily all true for you OTE, but I think it might be worth considering whether you need an outlet for your thoughts and feelings.  Somewhere you have permission to honestly feel and express yourself.

[Pepsimax]

Hi I'm Pepsimax I'm not sure this is burnout but I get upset when I hear people's stories that are not going well and I worry about them especially when they don't respond

[Tory]

I agree that caring is a burnout job. It can be rewarding but also very draining. I am a person who gives one hundred percent and due to my caring role I get no time off. A trip to the shops or to church is my only outing. After working in aged care and not getting a break all day for eight years I believe the burnout from the job has crept over into my full time caring role. I have no idea what I will do when this carer role ends, in fact I dread the thought of it. I am trying to study online but it is constantly interupted and I am falling behind. I get no respite as I am told I am the carer and she does not understand the role of respite being for the carer to have a break.

[Former-Member]

Glad you asked @Tanoozle as there is actually quite a bit of support for carers.  Every state has a funded organisation that provides phone support, counselling, education, groups etc 

You can check out the Carer Gateway - https://www.carergateway.gov.au

This is an example of a state based service:  Carers Victoria:  https://www.carersvictoria.org.au/advice 

You can call us at the  Sane Help Centre – 1800 18 7263 - for information support and referrals (mon – fri 9am – 5pm AEST) about what's local to you.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member - that makes sense, I have been repressing my emotions to the extent I can't even consciously acknowledge them( become confused and feel guilt). Another reason I do this apart for my family's sake is that I don't want to feel that distress again or a sense of helplessness. I like to be in control. And it works to a point, except now I can't feel much of anything. Thank you, at least now I have better insight into myself.

[Former-Member]

What I really like about your examples @BlueBay is that you use a range of strategies - big and small - which would add up to something pretty effective.  Self-care can be a few minutes watering the garden if that's where you feel peaceful.  I feel a bit replenished just picturing that 🙂 

Love that you went to the movies alone.  I did that recently and loved it too!  It's a situation in which you are truly giving back to yourself - the care and energy is directed back towards yourself.  Glad it'll be monthly.  What a treat.

[Shaz51]

Yes @Former-Member xx

Like @BlueBay was saying  it's hard when you work 5 days , and when you have your own very small business

[Former-Member]

Hi @Pepsimax, welcome to the conversation 🙂

I'm glad you raised that as this is something that's been going on here at the Forums.  What you're describing can possibly lead to burnout if it keeps happening.  One of the difficulties here is that we have so little control.  We can't reach out directly, we can only tell people how we feel here online and wait to hear back.  That's so hard when you care and are concerned for someone.

How've you been feeling today Pepsimax?